A collection of Liam Stories and Quotes!
Age 5
Liam hugs his teacher's leg, looks up, embarrassed and says "Awkward..."
The teacher asks him what that word means and he says that I told him that it means "when there's a bunch of people in a quiet room and someone farts".
Turns out that was Andrew...
Liam's soccer coach told him the medals were made of solid gold. His face was priceless when he received the medal and proceeded to tell everyone at the tournament that his medal was solid gold. "Hey! Hey! Look over here! See this? Its SOLID GOLD." He was so excited about it and while walking out of the field after the tournament was over said "I'm so proud of me". As you should be buddy.
Age 4
Three weeks into summer vacation and Liam is falling asleep one night and says quietly and sadly "I miss Deborah and Bessie". His teachers. Awwwww.....
Liam I put dip for your cucumbers in your lunch today, did you think it was yogurt? "No..... I said to myself 'That's dip.' .....and THEN I said to myself 'I HATE dip!'."
Liam what do you miss about the old house? "I miss the forest and the compost pile and the shed". The compost? "Yeah, I really miss it."
Liam lost his first tooth at 4 and half. It was wiggly for a month and he wouldn't let anyone near it. Everyone and their mother offered to give it a pull but he refused. His teacher Deborah finally told him she was an "Expert Tooth Puller" and convinced him to let her use a special technique that involved putting a kleenex on it and promptly pulling it out. "Pop!" it was out. Apparently Liam requires only professionals to work on his teeth. He may ask for credentials beforehand.
After this tooth first became wiggly I suddenly realized my Liam was growing up so quickly. I said to him in a sad voice "I'm losing my baby!" He said
"Don't be sad Mummy. I'll always be there for you"
and then,
"Don't worry mom, I'm gonna live with you FOR EVER."
Adeleine had to bring a "Family box" to school and we were talking about what would go in the box that is special to each family member. Liam said he would put in a car, Mommy gets a cooking pot because I like making noodles and Daddy gets a bed because he likes sleeping. Adeleine exclaims loudly: "#uck!", which was "Truck", but she's not good at T's yet.
Liam has puked his guts out twice in the last two weeks. I asked him why he thought he was getting sick (were there kids at school who were off sick too, did he eat something bad, did something bother his tummy, etc). He looked at me with his big brown sad eyes and said
"Sometimes I eat snow.
I eat a LOT of snow.
Off the ground."
I am not surprised. This is the kid who also ate pebbles and dirt until he was four.
Liam: Do you know what there's a lot of in Australia?
Me: Beaches?
Liam: Nope
Me: Kangaroos?
Liam: Nope. It lives on a farm and has wool.
Me: Sheep?
Liam: Yeah, sheep! Did you know there are more sheep than people in Australia?
Me: Really? More than the people?
Liam: Yeah! More than ALL the people. Lots. So many.
Me: How many?
Liam: Thirteen!
Age 3 and a half Years
Liam is excited about Santa! There have been lots of Santa-related questions lately like "Where do the Reindeer sleep?", ummm...in the barn?, "No, that's SILLY!", uh, ok, outside? "Yeah, they sleep in the forest mummy!...sil-laaaaaay". Lets hope the detailed questions stop, or at least I get better at giving the right answers.
Misunderstandings: "I wanna car when I get big." Ok Liam, I'm sure you'll get a car when you grow up. "NO, no, no Mommy! I want to BE a car when I get big." ..... Oh ..... Okaaaaaayyy.
Too Literal: Liam told me that he wanted to go to swimming lessons, so I said I'd call the pool when we got home and sign him up. "NO Mommy! It can't talk! It has no face! It's just for blowing bubbles and jumping in!" Righty-o.
If you are a guest in our house and Liam has to poo, you will be privileged with the opportunity to wipe his butt. He personally selects guests to do this, and declares it with such excitement that most people don't turn him down. "I have to poo! I have to poo! I want [insert unfortunate guest name here] to help me!" Someone asked him if he could wipe his own bum, to which he responded "No. But I can touch my toes!" and proceeded to shine his bare butt in their direction. This is hilarious to me since he still does this, when yes indeed, he can wipe his own butt.
More bathroom stories! At Parent Observation day at his school the parents are invited to sit in the classroom silently and not interact with the children, they are there to observe the class activities. I was sitting in a tiny chair in the middle of the room across from another set of parents, trying not to interact with the kids. Liam starts to dance "I have to poo! I have to poo!", "Well then go!" I whisper and he runs over to the bathroom. The bathroom is in the classroom and being three years old Liam does not find the need to ever shut the door so he proceeds to pull down his pants and climb onto the toilet in full view of his peers and the other set of parents who are literally getting a front row view. I'm facing the other direction watching the kids work and I hear "Mommy! Mommy! Look!" I turn around to see Liam still sitting on the toilet, proudly holding up a piece of dirty toilet paper "I GOT SOME!". The wife in the other set of parents had to elbow her husband in the ribs to try and stop him from laughing so hard.
ZooMEum. As in "There are dinosaur bones at the children's ZooMEum"
Lesson learned: Never wake Liam from his nap. That boy is not Liam. That boy is craaaaaazy.
Easter weekend: "I want to eat this chocolate Mom. I promise I won't go crazy."
"I'm Indiktable!" This is a superhero who is invincible AND predictable.
"I have a new boy in my class Mom! His name is Matteo. It's the same as potato."
Age 3 Years
At his third birthday party he received a gift and started to open it. We told him to open the card first. So he opened the card and said softly and slowly, like he was actually reading a letter, "My dear Liam...".
We have determined that it is Liam's job to make Adeleine happy when she is sad. He is so very good at it! He sings the ABC song to her whenever she cries and then she stops and stares at him and smiles a giant toothless grin.
Coming inside the house to get ready for bed, he waves at the sky "Bye clouds! Goodnight! Sweet dreams!"
"Mommy, what are we made of?"
"Yes, but how did the baby get IN her tummy?"
After banging his chin on the side of the tub (which required three stitches) he sat slumped over in a chair and said softly and sadly "I'm having a baaaaaaaad day."
Age 2 and a half years
Spent the day making Christmas cookies with Liam. He needed to be naked during this event. Something about getting flour on his clothes. Cookie anyone?
Liam saw 8 dump trucks on the way to school this morning. For a two year old this is the excitement equivalent of seeing 8 celebrities.
Its Christmas now and I'm excited for Liam! He opened his gifts last night (Andrew went to Windsor today so we had our Christmas early), and he looooooves his Train set. "Choo Choooooooo!" Its hilarious. Now he opens up any gift that's wrapped (he opened a birthday present this morning) so we really have to either keep the gifts away until "Santa" puts them under the tree, or watch him like a hawk!
Age 5
Liam hugs his teacher's leg, looks up, embarrassed and says "Awkward..."
The teacher asks him what that word means and he says that I told him that it means "when there's a bunch of people in a quiet room and someone farts".
Turns out that was Andrew...
Liam's soccer coach told him the medals were made of solid gold. His face was priceless when he received the medal and proceeded to tell everyone at the tournament that his medal was solid gold. "Hey! Hey! Look over here! See this? Its SOLID GOLD." He was so excited about it and while walking out of the field after the tournament was over said "I'm so proud of me". As you should be buddy.
Age 4
Three weeks into summer vacation and Liam is falling asleep one night and says quietly and sadly "I miss Deborah and Bessie". His teachers. Awwwww.....
Liam I put dip for your cucumbers in your lunch today, did you think it was yogurt? "No..... I said to myself 'That's dip.' .....and THEN I said to myself 'I HATE dip!'."
Liam what do you miss about the old house? "I miss the forest and the compost pile and the shed". The compost? "Yeah, I really miss it."
Liam lost his first tooth at 4 and half. It was wiggly for a month and he wouldn't let anyone near it. Everyone and their mother offered to give it a pull but he refused. His teacher Deborah finally told him she was an "Expert Tooth Puller" and convinced him to let her use a special technique that involved putting a kleenex on it and promptly pulling it out. "Pop!" it was out. Apparently Liam requires only professionals to work on his teeth. He may ask for credentials beforehand.
After this tooth first became wiggly I suddenly realized my Liam was growing up so quickly. I said to him in a sad voice "I'm losing my baby!" He said
"Don't be sad Mummy. I'll always be there for you"
and then,
"Don't worry mom, I'm gonna live with you FOR EVER."
Adeleine had to bring a "Family box" to school and we were talking about what would go in the box that is special to each family member. Liam said he would put in a car, Mommy gets a cooking pot because I like making noodles and Daddy gets a bed because he likes sleeping. Adeleine exclaims loudly: "#uck!", which was "Truck", but she's not good at T's yet.
Liam has puked his guts out twice in the last two weeks. I asked him why he thought he was getting sick (were there kids at school who were off sick too, did he eat something bad, did something bother his tummy, etc). He looked at me with his big brown sad eyes and said
"Sometimes I eat snow.
I eat a LOT of snow.
Off the ground."
I am not surprised. This is the kid who also ate pebbles and dirt until he was four.
Liam: Do you know what there's a lot of in Australia?
Me: Beaches?
Liam: Nope
Me: Kangaroos?
Liam: Nope. It lives on a farm and has wool.
Me: Sheep?
Liam: Yeah, sheep! Did you know there are more sheep than people in Australia?
Me: Really? More than the people?
Liam: Yeah! More than ALL the people. Lots. So many.
Me: How many?
Liam: Thirteen!
Age 3 and a half Years
Liam is excited about Santa! There have been lots of Santa-related questions lately like "Where do the Reindeer sleep?", ummm...in the barn?, "No, that's SILLY!", uh, ok, outside? "Yeah, they sleep in the forest mummy!...sil-laaaaaay". Lets hope the detailed questions stop, or at least I get better at giving the right answers.
Misunderstandings: "I wanna car when I get big." Ok Liam, I'm sure you'll get a car when you grow up. "NO, no, no Mommy! I want to BE a car when I get big." ..... Oh ..... Okaaaaaayyy.
Too Literal: Liam told me that he wanted to go to swimming lessons, so I said I'd call the pool when we got home and sign him up. "NO Mommy! It can't talk! It has no face! It's just for blowing bubbles and jumping in!" Righty-o.
If you are a guest in our house and Liam has to poo, you will be privileged with the opportunity to wipe his butt. He personally selects guests to do this, and declares it with such excitement that most people don't turn him down. "I have to poo! I have to poo! I want [insert unfortunate guest name here] to help me!" Someone asked him if he could wipe his own bum, to which he responded "No. But I can touch my toes!" and proceeded to shine his bare butt in their direction. This is hilarious to me since he still does this, when yes indeed, he can wipe his own butt.
More bathroom stories! At Parent Observation day at his school the parents are invited to sit in the classroom silently and not interact with the children, they are there to observe the class activities. I was sitting in a tiny chair in the middle of the room across from another set of parents, trying not to interact with the kids. Liam starts to dance "I have to poo! I have to poo!", "Well then go!" I whisper and he runs over to the bathroom. The bathroom is in the classroom and being three years old Liam does not find the need to ever shut the door so he proceeds to pull down his pants and climb onto the toilet in full view of his peers and the other set of parents who are literally getting a front row view. I'm facing the other direction watching the kids work and I hear "Mommy! Mommy! Look!" I turn around to see Liam still sitting on the toilet, proudly holding up a piece of dirty toilet paper "I GOT SOME!". The wife in the other set of parents had to elbow her husband in the ribs to try and stop him from laughing so hard.
ZooMEum. As in "There are dinosaur bones at the children's ZooMEum"
Lesson learned: Never wake Liam from his nap. That boy is not Liam. That boy is craaaaaazy.
Easter weekend: "I want to eat this chocolate Mom. I promise I won't go crazy."
"I'm Indiktable!" This is a superhero who is invincible AND predictable.
"I have a new boy in my class Mom! His name is Matteo. It's the same as potato."
Age 3 Years
At his third birthday party he received a gift and started to open it. We told him to open the card first. So he opened the card and said softly and slowly, like he was actually reading a letter, "My dear Liam...".
We have determined that it is Liam's job to make Adeleine happy when she is sad. He is so very good at it! He sings the ABC song to her whenever she cries and then she stops and stares at him and smiles a giant toothless grin.
Coming inside the house to get ready for bed, he waves at the sky "Bye clouds! Goodnight! Sweet dreams!"
"Mommy, what are we made of?"
"Yes, but how did the baby get IN her tummy?"
He gets very chatty right before he goes to sleep. One night he just blurted out "Her name is Audrey." Yes...go on. "She has yellow hair. But not yellow like a construction hat. Not like THAT yellow... She runs when I try and hug her. I squeeeeeze her like this (hugs himself hard). She runs away. She is little like me. So tiny!"
After banging his chin on the side of the tub (which required three stitches) he sat slumped over in a chair and said softly and sadly "I'm having a baaaaaaaad day."
Age 2 and a half years
Grocery shopping with Liam. Me: "Now we have to find the maple syrup." Liam, yelling from the cart: "Where arrrrrre youuuuuu maple syrup? Where arrrrre youuuuuu?"
Liam, yelling from the bathroom: "LOOK! Look Mommy! A SNAIL! I made a SNAIL!"
Liam, yelling from the bathroom: "LOOK! Look Mommy! A SNAIL! I made a SNAIL!"
Liam's lessons learned about new baby sisters 1) They make funny noises. 2) They are frightened by hammering. 3) They don't play catch.
Age 2 years
Liam had his first practice run on the weekend for his ring-bearer role! It was hilarious. Of course he did it perfectly on Thursday night at the rehearsal: holding the flower girl's hand, walking down the aisle sweetly...only once did he throw himself on the ground and start roaring like a lion. :) So then the big day comes. The wedding is at 1pm smack dab in the middle of his usual naptime, so he's WIRED. Whiney, wiggly, running, wired. He looks ADORABLE in his tux. We had to convince him the flower on his lapel was OK to wear - he hated it. Instead of lining up with the rest of the wedding party, he wants to run all over the place and go up and down the stairs. We finally get him and Aria (the flower girl) to the aisle and attempt to get him to hold her hand - no go. So then we say forget it and just let them walk, so Aria starts walking, comfortable as can be, Liam takes two steps away from me and freezes. Wont move. Nudge nudge. Stuck. Then he starts walking, then running, then with outstretched hands starts crying "PAPA! PAPA! PAPAaaaaaaaa!" and runs down the aisle towards my dad at the front of the church, leaving his flower girl in the dust. Hilarious! Yet kinda sad. :) My dad escorts his little man back down the aisle to pick up the flower girl, they eventually hold hands (backwards, sort of) and with dad leading Liam the three of them make it to the end. Whew! So, lesson learned. Liam is adorable in his tux. Cutest kid in the world. But should not attempt to walk down the aisle without an adult holding his hand at all times. Or possibly carrying him, which is how I got him out of the church.
Liam had his first practice run on the weekend for his ring-bearer role! It was hilarious. Of course he did it perfectly on Thursday night at the rehearsal: holding the flower girl's hand, walking down the aisle sweetly...only once did he throw himself on the ground and start roaring like a lion. :) So then the big day comes. The wedding is at 1pm smack dab in the middle of his usual naptime, so he's WIRED. Whiney, wiggly, running, wired. He looks ADORABLE in his tux. We had to convince him the flower on his lapel was OK to wear - he hated it. Instead of lining up with the rest of the wedding party, he wants to run all over the place and go up and down the stairs. We finally get him and Aria (the flower girl) to the aisle and attempt to get him to hold her hand - no go. So then we say forget it and just let them walk, so Aria starts walking, comfortable as can be, Liam takes two steps away from me and freezes. Wont move. Nudge nudge. Stuck. Then he starts walking, then running, then with outstretched hands starts crying "PAPA! PAPA! PAPAaaaaaaaa!" and runs down the aisle towards my dad at the front of the church, leaving his flower girl in the dust. Hilarious! Yet kinda sad. :) My dad escorts his little man back down the aisle to pick up the flower girl, they eventually hold hands (backwards, sort of) and with dad leading Liam the three of them make it to the end. Whew! So, lesson learned. Liam is adorable in his tux. Cutest kid in the world. But should not attempt to walk down the aisle without an adult holding his hand at all times. Or possibly carrying him, which is how I got him out of the church.
"Crock-a-ler!!!!" is his way of saying crocodile. Or alligator. Or a combination of both. Crock-a-LER!!!!
Liam saw 8 dump trucks on the way to school this morning. For a two year old this is the excitement equivalent of seeing 8 celebrities.
"I toot in my mouth." is a burp in Liam's language. Makes sense to me.
Liam has mastered the ABC song. But most of the time gets stuck in the neverending HIJK loop. "ABCDEFG,HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJK..." This goes on for quite a long time. Oh and he doesn't really sing it, he screams it. At the top of his lungs. Usually in the car. On every trip. But it's still the best song ever!
Liam was standing on a stool in front of the kitchen sink washing dishes (he's such a good helper) when he slipped and fell off. He was so shaken up by this incident (he was not hurt) and he started crying "No! No! Bad! Don't do that! Bad! No! Don't do that! Don't push Liam! No, bad bad!" Well Katie and I were so confused that he seemed to be giving shit to someone we asked him why he was yelling and who he was yelling at. "The wind pushed me off. The WIND."
Liam has mastered the ABC song. But most of the time gets stuck in the neverending HIJK loop. "ABCDEFG,HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJKLMNOP,QRSTUV-HIJK..." This goes on for quite a long time. Oh and he doesn't really sing it, he screams it. At the top of his lungs. Usually in the car. On every trip. But it's still the best song ever!
Liam was standing on a stool in front of the kitchen sink washing dishes (he's such a good helper) when he slipped and fell off. He was so shaken up by this incident (he was not hurt) and he started crying "No! No! Bad! Don't do that! Bad! No! Don't do that! Don't push Liam! No, bad bad!" Well Katie and I were so confused that he seemed to be giving shit to someone we asked him why he was yelling and who he was yelling at. "The wind pushed me off. The WIND."
Age 22 months
Me "What sound does a Bee make Liam?"
Liam "Beeeeeeeeeeeeee"
Liam was given a cracker by his daycare teacher Peggy
Me "Say thank you"
Liam "Thanks Peggy!"
(I was expecting his usual "doot dooo" thank you)
Liam "Beeeeeeeeeeeeee"
Liam was given a cracker by his daycare teacher Peggy
Me "Say thank you"
Liam "Thanks Peggy!"
(I was expecting his usual "doot dooo" thank you)
Last night he tried to get out of going to sleep by attempting to poop his pants. He knows "poo...potty" gets our attention and a trip out of bed and to the bathroom, so last night when we knew he was playing this game he tried soooooo hard to make himself go and just ended up with a little toot. Nice try bud.
Liam insists on wearing his winter coat and school shoes in the house. But pants? Oh no, not pants. That's crazy.
Age 18 months
Its Christmas now and I'm excited for Liam! He opened his gifts last night (Andrew went to Windsor today so we had our Christmas early), and he looooooves his Train set. "Choo Choooooooo!" Its hilarious. Now he opens up any gift that's wrapped (he opened a birthday present this morning) so we really have to either keep the gifts away until "Santa" puts them under the tree, or watch him like a hawk!
Yesterday the lady at daycare was like "We are trying to take some candid pictures of the kids and Liam keeps looking at the camera and posing and saying Cheeeeeeeeeeese!". Ah yes, my son, the camera ham. Yesterday at home he kept stealing our camera, putting it up to his drooly face saying "Cheeeeeese! Cheese Cheese Cheese!". Not sure if he's trying to take a picture of himself or someone else.
When I dropped Liam off at daycare today, it was his first day back in a week and this little girl Alyah, who has a bit of an infatuation with Liam (she likes to hug/hit him), ran right up to him and pointed at him exclaiming "Liam! Liam!" and then proceeded to give him a kiss. Liam was a bit shocked and just stood there for a second. Then he stole her cell phone toy.
He can now sing a bit of the ABC song, he gets to about D. Its adorable.
And he learned a new word this week, nut. Andrew taught him to say it last week at the cottage when they would eat nuts and watch TV. Now he yells it whenever he sees a bag/can of nuts. Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! The only way to get him to stop is by giving him one. Whew.
He can now sing a bit of the ABC song, he gets to about D. Its adorable.
And he learned a new word this week, nut. Andrew taught him to say it last week at the cottage when they would eat nuts and watch TV. Now he yells it whenever he sees a bag/can of nuts. Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! Nut! The only way to get him to stop is by giving him one. Whew.
He's also trying to say Fritz (sounds like Fiss, but close enough), and he still mostly calls both of the cats Lil-lil-lil-lil-lil-ly. We are trying to get him to reduce her name to just one Lil. He likes to put alot of Lil's in there for some reason.
Last night Liam did one of the most hilarious things I've seen him do so far. After his bath, he streaked out of the bathroom into the kitchen to have a dance party to the Indian music playing on the computer (it was a free CD that came with a package of Dhal!), the dancing went on for so long I grabbed the camera and recorded a few minutes of it. It was awesome. Swinging his arms, spinning around, kicking his legs out, doing fancy footwork in front of Lily. All while totally nude.
